Classic Posts

For about 3 years I blogged on my own server. Of course, nobody at all read any of my posts. But since I started this new one I figure I'll try to post some of my better posts. I call these classic posts.
Posted 2005-12-21

Geez. I have just been working and surfing, and I have a new gripe to talk about.

I have always gotten along with people, and I like to think that I am well liked. I can have a decent conversation with pretty much everybody I meet; black, brown, women, men doesn't matter. But, since High school, I have never really "fit in". It bothers me in a way, I mean I like lots of people and lots of people like me, but I am not like anyone else. I have some kinships, friendships, but about the only person that even comes close is my wife. However, even she has some major differences from me.

When the internet first started I started feeling kinships with other gamers and geeks, A like minded people that just fit together. But even that, now that everyone and their mother is on the "interweb", is starting to fail me. The blatant rampant liberalism, Marxism, communism of all the people on the web is appalling. The fact that most people speak about blogging, email and p2p like they actually have some idea of how it works (they don't) sickens me. Now grandma to little johnny is out there all over the internet, and alot of people are just begging the FCC or the UN to come in and take over, so that they can feel safe "on-line". This is not me.

I respect works like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Even now, after their large popularity and so-called "geek chic" B.S, these things are still used as a punchline. AD&D, which I am CONVINCED that the large majority of people just do not understand, is another good example. Before saying that you played RPG's was almost expected. But now, you post anything about it and OOOPS, you're just a geek again.

Sometimes I just feel lost. I am seen by most people as an impossible dichotomy of contradictions. I'm Libertarian. That means that every single liberal I talk to thinks I'm a right-wing wacko, and every conservative I talk to thinks I'm a pinko. I'm against organized religion, but I actively encourage personal religious experiences. That means that I am lost among atheists, but I am also lost among religious zealots. I am a gun owner who does not support the NRA's policies of protecting hunters tooth and nail but being "not-so-vocal" when the stupid assault weapons ban came around.

I just don't know what to do. I feel alone sometimes. I'm a happy person and I like who I am. It's just sometimes I feel like a misift. I guess that happens to everyone... And I know that everyone thinks that they are the worst misfit of them all.

I REALLY want to move somewhere where I can be myself. And with other people that are like me. If only I could live on Summerisle, like in The Wicker Man (sans the Christian burning thing).
It makes me wonder If I am actually capable of building such a place somewhere where we would not be bothered with any laws but our own... and then I wonder if I could actually fill an island with people like me...

Well, If I don't post before then, Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and the like.
panvamp