One more old post

Okay, one more classic post before I got to bed. In this post, true to geek style, I am complaining about the state of affairs that I am in and lamenting the past. I was a little whinier in the past I guess.

Posted 2005-11-13

About a year ago, Some friends and I started playing a Forgotten Realms 3.5 D&D Campaign. On the first couple of days that we played, I found something. I didn't even know I'd lost it.

It started simply enough. I played with the group and after I while I was my character. That hasn't happened to me for a LONG time. To actually be in another place at another time. It made me feel like I did when I played D&D 15 years ago.

So I re-went through D&D frenzy. This is characterized by an uncontrollable urge to buy every dungeons and dragons product that has come out all at the same time.

But about halfway through a bunch of Ebay purchases for books that I just might need for some campaign or other, it hit me. Or rather my wife demanded more time. So I started canceling some games to be with her. I understand that the requirements of a husband must take precedence over everything. I don't apologize for this, nor do I regret it. But as schedules of the players changed, and the wife needing me at home more, that feeling inevitably changed. I all but stopped going to my once beloved campaign.

It's strange. We do grow up only to pine for lost feelings and things. I REALLY wanted this feeling back. Very badly. Oh, I occasionally get glimpses of it, flashes of it when I play a great Xbox game that really draws me into the story (KOTOR), or while reading a really good Star Wars book, (Dark Rendezvous) or see a great move.

When I saw LOTR, I instantly felt saturated by that feeling. And I still kind-of get it when I watch them. Its weak, but it is definitely there. And the worst part -- I don't think anyone knows exactly what I am talking about. This is no mere nostalgia. It is an indescribable feeling. It makes one feel powerful, large, important, like existence is MORE than just the normal world. This feeling often gave me hope, self confidence, and it made me happy. I hadn't had the feeling even when I played other RPGS on computer or pen an paper. It was just something about this group, this game, that brought it back.

There is one other time when I get a similar feeling. It isn't quite that same swashbuckling adventure, king-of-the-world feeling that I used to get from D&D. Whenever I play any of the Zork games, or Lucasarts or Sierra adventures, I got a different feeling. And over the past year or so most of the Zork sites, most of the "abandonware" sites have been falling slowly into decay, like the Great underground Empire itself. There have been copyright issues, publishing problems, and I'm sure most of those netizens who took it upon themselves to preserve those games and those feelings do actually have better things do do than run a Zork site. Believe me, I know.

I picked up and read through the Domains of Dread D&D Ravenloft accessory last night. Just to read through a little of it. I can tell you this, I felt as if I had put my hands into the soil and sniffed my hands and felt the faintest smell of that feeling. Like it was long gone.

I suppose this could just be youth itself that I am missing. I don't want to admit it, but at 28 years old, I am no longer able to be a child in any way, shape or form. I cannot afford it. It is very possible that this is what a mid life crisis is. If this is what getting old is going to be like, I really don't think I am going to like it that much.

So I am going to make an early new year's resolution. This next year, hell or high water, I want to try and show others that feeling. I know if I do nothing that soon, Zork will disappear. Worlds like Krynn and Ravenloft will be unheard of in the RPG community.

What will this do? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps everything. But I will not just let these loves from my youth roll over and die. I remember my first dragon con. I must have been 13 or 14. I remember setting foot in the Atlanta Hyatt. I saw faeries and knights and samurai and basically a bunch of weird people. Standing there among the masses, I realized something. I am not alone. Other people do these things too. And it is great that someone organized an event to bring them all together to celebrate the things that I love. I want to do that. I want to bring these things that have been lost back to those people. I'm certain there are others who feel the same as me.

below is a token of beginning. There are some great netbooks here: Go get them. Read through them. And see if you can feel that feeling.
The Grave of the kargatane


And if you are curious about Zork, normally you get conflicting viewpoints of where to start.

Start here

And for the hands down most informative zork site on the web,

The chronology of quendor

Thanks,

panvamp